Who is R. J. Grigaitis?

Some people wanted to know who exactly I am. A couple of people thought I was a priest, and number of others thought I had some formal theological training. Well I'm not a priest, and the only postsecondary education I have is a two year technical diploma, and one university philosophy course. But before I talk about that, let me start at the beginning.

At the close of the '60s, the Grigat family was blessed with a baby boy: me. My parents took me home to the family farm on the Canadian prairies, where I grew up. The farm was homesteaded by my great-great-grandfather in 1894, but since my dad and his brothers didn't want to continue farming, my grandpa sold the cattle while I was still pretty young, and all but the home quarter section a few years later.

You may have noticed that the spelling of my last name doesn't match the spelling of my parents' name. A few years after being married, I found an old Lithuanian prayer book that belonged to my great-great-grandfather; inside the cover was inscribed the name "Jons Grigaitis," not "John Grigat," which is what I thought his name was. After a little research I ascertained that the family name was in fact Grigaitis, and that it was changed when he and his family immigrated form Memel, Prussia (now Klaipeda, Lithuania) to Canada. As well, Jons is short for Jonas; therefore, his name really was "Jonas Grigaitis." A little more research revealed that an ancestor of mine, a certain Baron Grigaitis, ruled Suvalkija under King Mindaugas, the first Christian king of Lithuania, who ruled between 1236 and 1263. Wanting to set the record straight, I legally changed my name and the name of my family (my wife and children) to the original spelling. I wish I had done this before I was married. It was a real headache to change all of our names on every document that required it.

By the way, the mother of Pope John Paul II (popiežius Jonas Paulius II), Emilia Kaczorowska-Wojtyla (Emilijos Kačorowskos-Wojtylos), was also of Lithuanian descent. That said; I will continue with my story.

Sickness pervaded my childhood. Painful ear infections were common, as was eczema, and a chronic back problem caused by falling out of a tree (BTW, my chronic back problem went away once I started working-out with heavy weights). Due to a build-up of fluid behind the eardrum, I went completely deaf at the end of grade two. This deafness went undetected for a while because I learned to read lips; however, it was corrected with a couple of minor operations. It was decided that I should repeat grade two because I didn't hear half of it, which made me a year older than most of my peers. Many different ailments caused me to miss a lot of school, especially in my junior high years. Looking back now, most of these ailments can be attributed to my mental illness, which I inadvertently concealed until it became impossible to ignore. If you want to know more about my mental illness, check out my book Bricks & Barbwire.

School didn't really appeal to me. Actually, I hated it; even the social aspect of it. Again, this can be attributed to my mental illness. Somehow, I managed to get through high school. I even got honours in physics 10, but mostly I just barely passed. I didn't really apply myself until after high school

One thing that did appeal to me was computers. When personal computers were first coming out onto the market, I would play around with them in the stores. My mom would do whatever shopping she had to do in the malls, and I would hang around the electronics department and program the computers. BASIC was the language being used, and I picked it up quite easily. I learnt it from a few magazines articles, and from other geeks that hung around the electronics department while their mothers shopped.

Just how much of a geek am I? Aside for the blog, in which I use WordPress I wrote every line of code for this website, which is compliant with the World Wide Web Consortium's various standards. The only software I used to generate code is a text editor. I didn't even use an existing e-mail list manager, but wrote my own. I am a true computer geek.

I got my first computer for Christmas when I was in grade eight. It was a Tandy TRS-80 Color Computer, and I completely devoured the programming manuals that came with it, as I did monthly to Rainbow (a magazine dedicated to the TRS-80 CoCo).

After around a year, my computer enthusiasm waned. I had done everything that could be done with interpreted BASIC and a cassette drive. What I really needed was a disk dive and an assembler (a program that converts assembly language into equivalent machine language); but lacking these, I began to focus on my new intention: becoming a rock star.

If my memory servers me correctly, I purchased my first snare drum when I was in grade five. Or was it grade six? My first full set was purchased at the beginning of grade ten. Just before grade ten, I had my first summer job, which provided me with enough money to buy this drum set.

The next four years revolved around drums. I even enrolled in the music program of a local college. Nonetheless, things got serious with my girlfriend, and I decided to get a haircut and get a real job; although the hair came back once I had a real job.

To get this real job, I obtained a diploma in Computer Engineering Technology, and started a career in software development.

In the process of becoming a software developer, I also became a Catholic. I was raised Lutheran, however, just before I was married, I joined an extreme fundamentalist church calling themselves the "church of Christ." In trying to save all my family and friends from eternal damnation by converting them to my new found faith, I discovered that this so-called "church of Christ" was not all it appeared to be. I discovered that it was not the one true Church founded by Christ in the first century. I expressed my disappointment in this church in my first letter to them. I am grateful to this church though. It was this church that set my heart on fire for Christ, and through their Bible study material that I found the one true Church; that is, the Catholic Church. If you want to know more about my conversion to the Catholic Church, read me conversion story: Finding the Church of Christ. You may also want to check out another book that I coauthored called We're Just Looking for Truth.

Life was good. I had a wife and kids, a house, and a good job that was only two blocks away from the cathedral, where I attended daily Mass. Everything seemed good, but something was dreadfully wrong. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what. I tried changing jobs, but that only helped for a few months. Actually, not being able to attend daily Mass made things worse.

In the Fall of 1998, I had my first psychotic break, and was hospitalized. Like I said before, if you want to know more about my mental illness, check out my book Bricks & Barbwire.

In between my two hospitalizations, and after my second one, I played around with my website a fair bit. I developed XScore, an XML application for musical scores; wrote about my Feelings Scale, which I created during my first hospitalization; and put my first letter to the church of Christ online.

A year after my first hospitalization, an incident occurred that launched my website into the realm of being truly useful and informative. I wrote a second letter to the church of Christ, which I mailed to the Edmonton church of Christ, but I also published it on my website and e-mailed it to as many church of Christ member as I could find on the Internet. This e-mail received many replies, and I had to defend myself and the Catholic Church. This defence of the Catholic Church developed into the articles Church of Christ's Misconceptions of Catholic Doctrine and Catholic Answers to the church of Christ. Once these articles were complete, I found more articles that needed to be written, and so my website grew into what it is today.

Just before I wrote this second letter, I began the formation of the Secular Franciscan Order (OFS). I had begun this formation once before, around three of four year prior; however, it conflicted with my family time, so I dropped it. The second time around was with a different fraternity that met on a different day, and so the formation didn't conflict with my family time. On the feast of St. Thomas More in 2002, I made my profession in the OFS, and so now I'm a Franciscan.

In addition to the OFS, I'm also enrolled in the League of St. Dymphna, and the Militia Immaculata as a Knight at the Foot of the Cross. Again, if you want to know more about my mental illness, check out my book Bricks & Barbwire.

In my local parish, I'm involved in the RCIA (Rites of Christian Initiation of Adults) process; act as an extraordinary Eucharistic minister; act as an adult server, and lead Eucharistic adoration. I used to do music ministry with my oldest daughter (we both play guitar and sing, well she did most of the singing, I was just there for support), but I've since left her on her own. I have read at Mass, but this was only because I had to; there was just me and the priest (I'm not a very good public reader). Obviously this was at a weekday Mass, which I try to go to as often as I can. It would be pretty sad if it was just me and the priest at a Sunday Mass.

Since I became ill, I've gotten a bit out of shape; gaining 75 pounds of fat. A couple of times I got rid of some of these pounds and put on some more muscle, but that depends on how well my medications are working. One day I hope to get into the shape I was before I got sick. Actually, just fitting into my dress pants would be good enough.

I also have a passion for motorcycles; specifically Harley-Davidsons; more specifically 1960 to 1964 FL Duo-Glides. Having my licence is not much good without a bike. I haven't ridden for a long time, but once I'm back at work and making some money, I hope to buy one. (Actually, regardless of my "hope," my fiancée says I'm not allowed to. They're too dangerous)

Another passion of mine is watches, particularly ones with mechanical and automatic movements. I love the art of Rolex, Patek Philippe, Christiaan van der Klaauw, and other high end watch makers. These watches are truly great works of art, but I doubt I'll ever buy one. I'm happy with my 8935A from Invicta Watch Groupe.

Even if I had the money, I doubt I'd waste in on motorcycles and watches. I'm still ill and off work, so there's no danger of me getting much money anytime soon. There's been some progress in my health and I'm hopeful that I can return to work eventually. But, there has also been setbacks, and there's the possibility I'll never be able to work again. This doesn't deterred my hope though. I try to keep up my computer skills and stay focused on my theological writings.

That in a nutshell is who I am. I hope that my website has been useful to you, and may God bless you.

If you want to know more about my faith journey, you can read Finding the Church of Christ.

You can also read how, on Easter Sunday 2006, my ex-wife became my fiancée in my February 22, 2008 Weekly Thought.